


Your Account Settings

by fairy_tale_echo



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Bella Swan - Freeform, Fix-It, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Reconciliation, creepers, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2011-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 21:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairy_tale_echo/pseuds/fairy_tale_echo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 things Mark didn't do to Eduardo's Facebook profile (+1 he did)</p><p>(or: <i>You know I can see when you hack into my page and make changes, right?</i>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Account Settings

_1\. Edit Friends_

Some nights when he get a moment's break from the buzz in his brain (on those nights when it's 4 AM and he unplugs after ten straight hours of coding without a breather but he's still had four Red Bulls and he can’t unplug from that) and he can't help but think back on it, there's only one part that can make Mark _mad_.

One friend? One fucking friend? He had A LOT of friends, OK? He had friends in fencing, and friends in AEPi, and friends in the dorm, and friends in, like, middle school. He had FRIENDS. He had people to hang out with and game with and create with and code with. Mark had friends even before he was fucking FAMOUS, OK?

Where did Wardo get off? _You had one friend._ What was that even supposed to mean?

Mark's buzzing brain didn't like to think about the answer to that. He didn't like to think about what Wardo meant.  Mark didn't like to think about how he had said something to Wardo that he had NEVER said to another person, something that if he ever _tried_ to say to another person it would feel like chewing ground glass. And he said it to Wardo more than once.

 _I need you._

He used to say that a lot, actually. For stupid things ( _I need you to get over here with some more Red Bull right now._ ) to not so-stupid things. (That night in the hallway, Wardo dripping wet, Mark unable to meet his eyes.  _I need you.)_

The bitch of it was: Mark was a genius, so he actually knew exactly what Wardo meant.

Knowing exactly what Wardo meant didn't make him less angry. It kinda made him **more** angry.

Nights like that, Mark had to try really hard, with everything in his buzzing brain, to stop himself from, with nothing more than a few keystrokes, deleting all of Wardo's pathetic 131 Facebook friends and making it impossible for him to ever add any more.

Show _him_ what it was like to have no friends.

 2. _Privacy Settings_

Mark remembers the first time he saw R.U. Sirius and Gareth Branwyn's manifesto. He was in middle school and it sang out to him the same way any Ancient Greek saga did.

 _information wants to be free_.

Yes, exactly. Why did people always complain when he made Facebook do COOL things? That was what people used to LOVE. (that was what people still loved, Mark knew this. They complained, but he knew, from CourseMatch on, it was the cool, sneaky, stuff people loved best, it’s what made it work, it’s what they were secretly doing.)

Now all of a sudden there's a huge pushback against "invading our privacy without our consent" and "making us adapt to changes we never originally agreed to."

Which is really stupid when you think about it, because Mark has never made _anyone_ sign up for Facebook.  Sometimes Mark wants to just tell everyone to SHUT UP ("Not so good for PR, Mr. Zuckerberg," says his assistant, cautiously.) and stop posting things to Facebook if they have a damn problem with what Facebook does.

Or, better still, make it all private.  “ _You can actually do that_ ,” Mark wants to sometimes snap at the complainers “ _make it all private so no one but just who you want can see what you do_.”

That way, no random browser can see the photos of you and a really pretty blonde girl on vacation in the Swiss Alps and Cabo San Lucas. That way, no one can see that you've tagged pictures of yourself all over the world, smiling as if everything is just fine on your end. That way, no one can see the movies you watch and the books you read and wonder about what your reactions were. That way, no one can sometimes spend 25 minutes going through two months worth of your oblique status updates and wondering what they mean. That way, no one can see that sometimes in the pictures you have a pretty blond _guy_ on your arm instead and then spend hours considering the implications of said pictures.

If you just HATE Facebook invading your privacy so damn much, _don't put all that stuff on Facebook_ and it won't be a problem.  But if you DO put that on Facebook, use the privacy controls, so no one can see your stupid, smug face.

(of course, if you put all that on Facebook _knowing_ that someone, somewhere, had complete control over privacy settings and could, if said someone were feeling angry one day for no reason that had anything to do with blondes, make it ALL public ... well, it might seem like you WANTED someone to see what you were doing.)

3\. _Facebook Ads_

It's not the fucking same, OK? It's NOT.

These are "social" ads, which fit in quite well with Facebook's user base and Facebook's business plan and Facebook's MISSION STATEMENT. Mark had a super awesome press release all about how it was going to let Facebook users interact with marketers in an entirely new way, sharing information on their terms, interacting as they would with friends. This fit what Facebook was.  It was user-driven, intuitive (and this is Mark's secret favorite part) full of all kind of data-mining (not that he wanted people's information, for, like, nefarious purposes, Jesus, how gauche and boring could you get?) that tracks everything you do and then, subtly, throws in ads that are precisely calibrated to your statuses, likes, user activity, fuck, your profession. It is a glorious, beautiful piece of coding.

So, yeah, OK, fine, they _are_ ads and technically it _is_ advertising, but it's _not_ the same at all as what Wardo was trying to do that summer out in New York, not at all the same as how he tried to tell Mark that they needed ads to stay afloat and it wouldn't kill the project, not at all the same as what Mark swore would kill the party. It _isn't_. No matter what some people might think, or how Dustin and Chris might look at him with barely concealed horror during the staff meeting it's announced.

Business models change, alright?  And he was _right_ , he was _right_ to tell Wardo they couldn’t have ads and they needed to have angel investors.  (Which, he did _tell_ Wardo that, right?  He said it _exactly_ like that, didn’t he?  Mark sometimes can’t remember.  But it seems like he probably did.)

Social ads are NOT the same. And Mark should know, he invented Facebook.

And if, somewhere out there, Wardo doesn't _believe_ that, if he looks at Mark's awesome press release and sees other things in-between the lines, well, that's HIS mistake and HIS misunderstanding.

And, even though he's a shareholder, he probably doesn't read every single press release, so maybe if Mark just does a little bit of coding and turns off the ads on Wardo's profile for a few weeks, it'll take him a little longer to figure out and notice the change. Not that Mark would do that. Not that Mark cares about Wardo's misunderstandings.

4\. _Manage Pages_

Mark's page has 3,067,268 likes. Wardo's has 77,671. That's a net difference of 2,989,597 likes. Give or take. Depending on who is "liking" and "unliking" second by second. Mark thinks it's maybe because Wardo's page is so dull and blank and boring.

What Mark NEVER thinks about how he knows everything that could _really_ be on Wardo's page. How Wardo tells everyone his favorite book is _1984_ but it's really _Dune_ because of the summer he was 13 and read it all in one day. How Wardo pretends that he mostly likes modern rock with a side of Brazilian music and soul and the occasional guilty pleasure of pop music, but really it's the other way around and his iPod resembles that of a 14 year old girl's. How Wardo lists _Indiana Jones_ as a favorite movie but had never even seen it until one weekend freshman year when they stayed up and watched all three of them back to back and Dustin and Chris passed out around 1:00 AM when the last one started, but he and Wardo watched it all the way through. About how after _Last Crusade_ was over, Mark turned to a slightly drunk Wardo and saw he had tears in his god-damn eyes that he quickly tried to hide. About how Mark, for some weird reason, had bothered to ask what was wrong and how that was the first night Wardo ever said anything about his what an absolute dick his Dad could be.  How that was the first night he and Wardo really _talked,_ talked for hours until the sun came up, about growing up and expectations and Wardo told Mark how he'd probably have to find the Holy Grail to impress his Dad.

Mark never thinks about that. _Ever_.

Sometimes, just sometimes is all, what Mark _does_ think about is hacking Wardo's page. Maybe he could make it more interesting and bump up his likes. Maybe he could put that Wardo enjoys _Twilight_ and is _Team Jacob_ and thinks Stephenie Meyer is way more talented than J.R. Rowling. Maybe he could put that Wardo supports Sarah Palin AND PETA. Maybe he could put Wardo believes everything in _The Da Vinci Code_. Maybe he could list Wardo's favorite music as _"mostly rap and country."_

Think how Wardo's page would light up if Mark just wrote a few lines of code and suddenly there were all these graphics and “likes” leading to other groups that have millions of members.

So, yeah, OK, sometimes, when Mark is NOT thinking about that other stuff, when he's wired in and the world won't stop and he just feels so angry and sharp for reasons he can't name ... maybe for a few minutes (never more than a few minutes!) he hacks in and writes the code and watches Wardo's page change.

No one else ever sees this, and it's only for a few minutes, and it's mostly just to practice the code and, anyway, he never makes the changes permanent or anything, so it doesn't count. Really.

5\. _Keep Online Friends Window Open_

The message says this:

 _Mark,  
You know I can see when you hack into my page and make changes, right? Just because it's 3 AM where you're wired in and doing whatever weird thing it is you're doing, it's not everywhere.  __Time zones, asshole, look 'em up._ _3 AM is just the evening in Singapore and some of us are checking our accounts like_ normal _people._  
 _  
Stop it._

 _-Eduardo_

 _Team Jacob?_ Really?

Mark never actually thought of that, which is strange because Mark thinks of everything. (The slip was totally unintentional.) Of course anyone _could_ see, but who'd be looking at Wardo's page in the middle of the night?  And all the changes happened in the space of just a few minutes, so anyone who _did_ see it wouldn’t even see it on refresh or for very long, so they’d probably think it was just a weird error. (Unless the person knew...)

Mark knew it would take no more than nine lines of code to get himself added to Wardo's chat list. (it would take twenty one to make him the ONLY person on Wardo's chat list, but why be spiteful?) But for some reason, Mark didn't feel like hacking his way onto Wardo's list. That seemed ... wrong. And too easy anyhow.  Mark _hated_ easy.

Just a regular evening in Singapore, huh?

Before he could think twice, Mark dashed off the message.

 _Wardo,  
Well, you'd hardly be Team Edward. Edward Cullen’s the worst, all that skulking and melodrama and window peeping. _

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Wardo, not just about the page but about everything. Everything that happened. I'm just sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t say things more clearly, I know I could have.  I know that probably means nothing but – I’m sorry._

 _And your page, it wasn't an intentional thing.  Well, it was intentional, but not malicious.  I never leave it up. I was just … testing some things out, I guess. I'll stop._

 _-Mark_

 _Do you wanna chat sometime? I'm kinda on Facebook a lot._

Mark has no idea why he typed that. He never meant to. That was never the plan all along. Never.

His online chat window dings in less than ten minutes.

 _Eduardo  
I'm Team Bella.  
Mark  
...  
Eduardo  
Girls in stories don't always need love triangles and big dramatic vampire rescues. She should go to college and leave their creepy asses!  
Mark  
I think I need to add a new facebook feature called BIG DRAMATIC VAMPIRE RESCUES.  
Eduardo  
Oh yeah? What do you think the practicality of said feature would be? I'm a shareholder. I need to know these things._

It flies just as easy as it did back in the dorms, as it did over pizza and video games and all night coding sessions and beers and philosophical debates and movie nights. There’s mocking and banter and jokes and catching up and it happens just like that.

 _Eduardo  
Shit, we've been talking for almost two hours!  I'm late for a work dinner!  
Mark  
Call in sick to work. Quit work.  Buy work.  
Eduardo  
I go to work in the name of Bella Swan.  
Mark  
I can't believe you know her last name.  
Eduardo  
Says the guy who knew his name was Edward Cullen.  
Mark  
Whatever, the whole world knows that.  
Eduardo  
OK, Twihard.  We’ll talk later?  
Mark  
Um, yeah.  For sure._

The one thing Mark would have never done to Wardo's Facebook profile is the one Wardo does himself.

He adds Mark as a friend.

Mark accepts.

And that's just the beginning.

  
**+1 he did**

 _Edit My Profile_

Dustin and Chris are currently killing the fuck out of Mark and Wardo in _Black Ops_ and Mark is screaming his head off as if Dustin and Chris are in the same room, not in their respective offices across the country, while he and Wardo lounge on their couch.

Wardo is laughing.

When his iPhone starts buzzing with work, Mark signs off (vulgarly) and starts clicking away. After a few minutes, Wardo pulls out his phone and pretends to start work while actually starting his 6,000th game of Angry Birds.

Wardo moved in three months ago, which was almost six months to the day since their first Facebook chat. He works out of San Francisco now and tells Mark he doesn't know how he ever survived the humidity in Singapore and the snow in New York.

Mark wanted Facebook to connect people and open the world up. The last thing he expected was that Facebook would do that for _him_. Chats led to texts led to e-mails led to calls led to a visit.

Mark went to Singapore and he and Wardo were kissing frantically the second the elevator doors slid shut, before the elevator in Wardo’s building even made it to his floor. (Wardo owned the whole floor, of course.)

 _"How'd all this happen?"_ Mark asked that night, still fairly shocked that…that Wardo had talked to him, much less that he’d come to Singapore, that Wardo had leaned in and kissed him, that they were here, now, lying together in bed.

Wardo smiled, his eyes lighting up. _"Well, I met this guy in college freshman year and he was the weirdest, most awkward, most brilliant guy I'd ever known and I ended up with the biggest crush on him. But, no matter what,  he never noticed me until he cheated me out of a billion dollars and I fled halfway across the world,"_ Wardo said with a teasing hint in his voice, running his hand down Mark's face. _"Then, whaddya know? He_ apologized. _And, though he could have, he didn't just write some code to add himself back into my life. He asked to be let back in. And here we are, just where I wanted to be from freshman year."_

Mark didn't think he was the kind of person who blushed, so there must've been some other explanation for the flush rising up his cheeks. He'd rolled over onto his side and kissed Wardo, hard and fierce, back into the mattress as Wardo reached up for him.

That's how it happened.

\--

When Mark hangs up from the work call he sits back down beside Wardo, so close not a dime could fit between them.  Mark thinks that if everyone in the world could have this: could be sitting next to their best friend (who, besides being your best friend _also_ gives spectacular blow-jobs and makes your skin tingle) and doing their own little digital thing after a good round of a FPS game with your best, old friends; if every person in the world could know how good this feels, to know the person next to you would love you and want you and forgive you no matter what? Then they wouldn't trade it for a billion dollars.

He calls up Facebook on his phone and starts coding.  This’ll barely take any time at all.

 Not like they are hiding or anything (as Valleywag has hashtags for them, primarily __#__ _FacebookLoveStory_ and _#Markuardo_.  He can’t prove it, but he’s pretty sure Chris submitted the first one and Dustin submitted the last one via community comments and they took off.) but he and Wardo are not “Facebook Official _”_ because Wardo still doesn’t use his profile much and he thinks “Facebook Official”is a ridiculous term Mark essentially made up to make himself feel more powerful.  (Mark loves Wardo because he _still_ rolls his eyes at Mark and _still_ thinks this even after Mark shows him a _New York Times_ article and academic studies about how relationship statuses on Facebook are a whole sociological thing.)

A few minutes later, Wardo's phone buzzes and Mark sees him check the text notification.

"Mark," Wardo says slowly "did you just hack into my Facebook profile and change my name to Bella Swan?"

"Team Bella," Mark declares proudly.

"Mark? Why is Bella Swan in a relationship with Harry Potter?"

"He's a much better choice for her, don't you think? He'll help her live up to her potential and be awesome, encourage her to do the right thing and kick some ass, and he'll never stand outside her window while she sleeps."

"Mark?" Wardo says, his voice rising, looking down at his phone in shock. "Did you change _**your** _ name to Harry Potter?!"

"The boy who _lived_ ," Mark says, setting his iPhone aside and Facebook and profile hacks and account settings and the whole world aside, leaning over to kiss the laughter off Wardo's lips. Mark was sure that later he’d be able to talk Wardo into leaving the changes.  Well, maybe.

For now, all Mark cared about was how Wardo kissed him back, eyes alive with indulgence and knowledge and want and joy.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, each section heading is, in fact, a real Facebook setting option that you can get to from _Your Account Settings._ And I think we should all be Team Bella, am I right? :)


End file.
